April 20, 2019 - Fear and Loathing — Weights and Whethers

I'm not a sharer. Cobwebs litter my dormant facebook page still adorning a profile picture dated 5 years ago. I despise the culture of carefully crafted, curated facades formed from spotless selfies and insta-worthy vacations. Give me gritty reality any day.

Unfortunately, the gritty reality is that all my pretentious judgement of my peers is a cover for my own fear.

I fear that by publishing my ideas to a public forum, I am forever associated to my immaturity. I subscribe wholeheartedly to the ethos: “Strong opinions loosely held”. Upon reflection I reserve the right to change my mind.

I fear that my self-esteem is directly tied to others’ opinions of me. Despite my experience in performing arts and more than a decade failure ridden dating, rejection hurts just as much as ever; I’ve just learned to rationalize the pain and push through it.

So now it’s time for me to practice getting rejected on the digital stage because rejection is part of life and I’m tired of hiding.